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Every true gambler can give us his best shot about gambling. All of us like to joke. Especially about gambling and casino.
Syndicate casino blog believes that you guys are ready to laugh today. In our modern age, sometimes you win the fight by losing it. Sometimes you can get a jackpot and live happily ever after.
But the big question is, can you stay positive the whole time? Of course, you can. Casino puns and gambling jokes are making the whole world a wonderful.
Guys with nothing left to lose tend not to bluff in poker. In about ten years, the dog quits whining. Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes.
You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you. The fucking thing collapsed. Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published.
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals.
After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. The bartender once again pondered the bet.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. A local casino is offering marijuana infused beef to their best bettors.
A couple move to Nevada and the husband hits it big at the casino He rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things.
I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot! Just so long as you're out of the house by noon. A man wanders about a casino and sees a gorgeous woman who is clearly bored "Hello, I see you're sad, what happened?
Well I enjoy being kinky too, so it seems that we have the same A guy in a casino A dude goes to Vegas and he is on an absolute winning streak.
He goes across the street and asks th I've just opened a casino for dogs. They can play roulette, poker and blackjack all under one roof!
It's a good thing I don't gamble. My friends recommended the British Casino weight loss method It really works. I've already lost fifty pounds.
I was in a casino on the roulette machine last night, when the man standing next to me turned to me and said, "Black, Right before the pandemic I was visiting Las Vegas.
Walking out of a casino one night, a frazzled looking dude comes up to me and commences with a sob story.
Any chance you could spare 50 bucks Suddenly the gambler walks in and comes out broke a few minutes later. I just didn't have any luck.
That's not how you do it the stock broker remarks, let me show you how it's done. The s A gambler invites two friends, a mathematician and an engineer, to the casino to try and score big with their help.
The mathematician suggests blackjack, as with card counting it's the only game where the house doesn't have an advantage. The engineer agrees for the same reason, but warns, that since this is the real world, to be wary of the casino getting wise to them.
The gambler follows the advice of his intell There's a VERY easy way to leave every casino with a small fortune. Go there with a large one. The voice goes on for days saying, "Alvin, sell your business for three million dollars!
The voice says, " What is it called when you're having second thoughts about booking a room at a Native American casino?
A reservation reservation reservation. How I lost pounds in one day Had a bad time at the casino. I took my masochistic girlfriend to the casino, but she lost all my money.
Do you want to lose weight? Go to a casino in the UK. You'll lose pounds by the minute. I wanted to be a sexy casino for Halloween.. What did the nun wear to the casino?
Her gambling habit. A man is riding through the desert Suddenly, he hears a voice, coming from nowhere. Right here in the desert?
Why was I charged so much for eating chips? The casino man said he'd never seen anything quite like it. I bought a second hand deck of cards from a casino in Las Vegas, but after 4 weeks they hadn't arrived.
When I asked for an update, they said they were still dealing with my order. I know the secret to leaving a casino with a small fortune Walk in with a big fortune.
Happy new year. Night out at the casino So this one night I go out to the casino, I feel it's gonna be my lucky day today. I get to the ATM, take up all my motherfucking money I'm poor so it's like Euro's.
And I proceed to pimp-walk into the casino. I go hard, I'm up like 10K at one point, but even though I got swagger like Mick Ja He is so excited after winning some cash he decided to get a prostitute for the night.
He goes to the lobby of the casino and finds the prettiest working girl in the whole place. He takes her up to his room for some sexy-times.
Good Ol' A few years ago when I first got divorced, I decided to go to Vegas and wanted to have some fun. I went to a casino, went to the bar, and bought a drink before I did anything when I am approached by a beautiful woman.
She asked me if I liked to have fun and I said yes. She then told me she w A gambler is down on his luck and pleads with God.
A gambler is down on his luck and pleads with God one night after losing almost everything he had at the casino. God suddenly appears in front of him and says "So There aren't that many casinos in Africa.
Cause there are too many cheetahs. And if you meet one who claims he isn't a cheetah, he's probably lion to you.
What does a casino and a prostitute have in common? They both fuck people for money. Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?
Because they, like, can't even deal. A man is at the Casino A man is sitting at a blackjack table. He's not doing very well, and is about to get up and walk away, when he hears God, 'play again'.
The man sits back down and plays another hand. He's dealt 20, and God says 'Hit'. The man, nervously says 'h-hit please'.
He's dealt an Ace and wins. He is dealt ag Casino So a guy is looking for a hooker, he finds a beautiful woman behind a casino and asks how much for a hand job.
He is taken back and says that sure is a lot for a hand job. She says baby I bought that car with all my hand job Did you hear about the Casino that hired a Blacksmith?
He who smelt it, dealt it.An Evening With the Devil. A poor man takes a stroll on a Friday evening. As he's walking, he's thinking about what he can do to get some extra cash in his life. Suddenly, a puff of smoke appears and out of it steps the Devil himself! He whispers, terrifyingly, "Take all the money in your purse, go to this casino, and put them on the number 27!". So this one night I go out to the casino, I feel it's gonna be my lucky day today. I get to the ATM, take up all my motherfucking money (I'm poor so it's like Euro's). And I proceed to pimp-walk into the casino. I go hard, I'm up like 10K at one point, but even though I got swagger like Mick Ja read more. Here are some of our favorite gambling and casino jokes and one-liners from various sources to keep things light-hearted in trying times. Jokes of the question and answer variety. Q: Why is gambling banned in Africa? A: There are too many cheetahs! Q: Why did the British blonde bring French fries to the casino? A: She was told to bring her own chips. 2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it’s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling. 3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back. 4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Dutch Boyd. Q. How's a casino like a good woman? A. Liquor in the front, poker in the back! Q. What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? A. In a casino, you really mean it! Q: How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch? A: Pay him for the Pizza Q: What does a BlackJack player eat for dinner?. Casino Jokes Page 1. Casino Jokes Page 2. Chase Manhattan Bank. Real Cool Casino. Bored Casino Dealers. Have fun at Bikinis Network - buy some great gear or just see pics of the day! Poker Club. Lost Shirt. Doctor Humour. Casino Jokes Page 3. Casino Jokes Page 4. Casino Jokes Page 5. Casino Jokes Page 6. Great Depression. Casino Jokes Page 7.